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Life Time

Recently, I had a health concern that left me wondering about the possibility of heaven sooner than later. As I sat pondering the worst case scenario, I happened to glance down at the beautiful new engagement ring my sweet hubby surprised me with for our 20th anniversary. I felt the tears well up and I cried to the Lord, “Please let me enjoy this just a little while longer. Please, Lord!”

Is it wrong to ask our Father for more time on earth? There is a song I heard again recently that I don’t think gets too much airplay but is accurate none-the-less. I think it’s called, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.”

Father and I had a good conversation the day I was thinking about that worst case scenario. I told him of course I wanted to go to heaven and any time would be fine, but that I would have all eternity with him and Jesus and Mom and Dad and my brother, but I know my days here are numbered and I would really like it if I could get as much earth time as possible. I want to make more memories with my dear hubby and sweet sister, and so many others who are dear to me.

Father just listened until eventually I ran out of things to say including feeling bad for not especially wanting to go home to be with him just yet. It was one of those conversations where I did a lot of talking while he held me close but didn’t give me any great bits of wisdom or a clear answer that how I was feeling was perfectly okay with him. My earthly father often did that. Just listened, then gave me a gentle hug or a tender smile and got up from where we were sitting and went about his day. I always felt better after “our” talks. And I feel more at peace now about what may lie ahead for me. Sometimes Fathers know that we just need to talk it out. And the best wisdom sometimes is silence.

We grew up with that old saying that some people are so earthly minded they are no heavenly good and others are so heavenly minded they are no earthly good. I think enjoying the good things of our Father’s creation is pleasing to him and we need not feel shame or guilt about wanting to squeeze every ounce of life out of our earthly life that we can. On the other hand, trusting that our Father’s ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts higher than our thoughts brings balance to all of our earthly desires.

My diagnosis? Mono. I think Father is going to let me make a few more earthly memories yet.


Father, thank you that it is you, not we, who number our days. You know what is best and how much of this earthly life is right for us. Help us to trust you in everything. In Jesus’ name and for your glory. Amen.

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