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A Free Spirit

The loud whir of the MRI machine overpowered the instrumental hymns playing in the earmuff headphones over my ears. I was hoping the 20 minutes would soon be up as I laid as still as possible while the machine took pictures of my injured knee. The whirring gave way to a hammering sound for the third time and this time I chuckled and thought to myself, “Now this machine is hammering out a picture Flintstone style!”

In between the whirring and hammering I had prayed prayers of thanksgiving that God was with me and that this machine was open on both ends. I wanted to open my eyes but knew better. I have always had trouble with closed in spaces. A pastor friend once referred to it as a “free spirit.” I loved the reference but felt anything but free at that moment. My head knew I would be fine and eventually someone would let me out of my temporary prison, but the adrenaline trying to push past reasonable thought seemed determined to win the day. I deliberately let go of the emergency button I held in my hand determined to show the adrenaline that I was in charge of these moments and that I chose to spend them sheltered in God’s arms of love, not in the cradle of fear and mistrust.

It seemed like a long time before Josiah, my temporary jailor, opened the door and with a strong arm helped me out of my bondage. Once I knew I was done, the time past seemed to be but a few short minutes. Now my anticipatory tears turned to big smiles and chattiness. Like all good jailers, Josiah was waiting to escort me to the clinic exit once I had prepared myself to go and delightedly deposited the garish hospital garb (it is certainly no gown), into the laundry bin.

In the car, I texted my sister to thank her for her prayers. As the sound of my car’s engine hummed a get-out-of-jail-free chorus, and its vents exhaled cool filtered air from the outside heat, I felt my spirit soar, my heart settle, and my adrenaline submit to the victory already in the books. This was the first time I endured an MRI without the need of a sedative! Maybe I really am a free spirit. But maybe it’s not because of any dogged determination on my part, but because God has set my spirit free whether I’m confined in an MRI tube or dancing through a field of fresh clover!

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36).

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